An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
