Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This baby is an asshole
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
