She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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