He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
