I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
