Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
