Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
