you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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