We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
