im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
