I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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