I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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