We're like a lot better than the average bears
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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