he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
