i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So squirting runs in the family.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
