you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
