he told me I talked like a deaf person
I forgot how hot balto sounded
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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