Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
