sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
