I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Randomize
