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Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
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