just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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