There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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