Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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