With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize