The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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