does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
