I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
