He kissed a someone with a penis
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize