i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
