well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Did I show you my penis last night?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i've created a new STD.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
