Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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