shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize