Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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