There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
