absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
