You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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