I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
