Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
