I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize