so that wasnt chicken after all
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize