I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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