i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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