So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize