How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
