My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
