I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
