just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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