it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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