Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
