butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize