I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
