I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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