There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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