i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
