ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
