i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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