You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
