Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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