First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
