It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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