You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
