did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think your dad took our porno
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
