I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
